My Blog

Aidilfitri 2005

-see picture

for every other things…

…. there is a ”master card”…

receiving a raya greeting from dee and ash…..

….. p r i c e l e s s !!!

-

salam aidilfitri dari manchester!!!

ampun maaf dipinta….

semoga Allah merahmati perbuatan kita!!

ikhlas; delliya&ashreen

>>>>

bila aku terasa dgn tindakan kengkawan aku…

aku selalu simpan di dalam hati…

mungkin kerana aku memahami situasi tersebut…

dan mungkin kerana.. aku tau.. kalau.. aku menyatakan isi hati aku.. atau menarik muka atau merajuk…. atau memberi sesorang itu a ‘’silent treatment”…

it will get worst….

jika aku menyatakan isihati aku.. sure org tersebut akan sakit hati…

last last aku diam jelah….

tapi.. bila ia belaku sebaliknye to my friends… silent treatment, tarik muka, kata2x kasar… etc… semua terjadi…

maafkanlah aku…. aku insan biasa…

Conclusion > Fed-up!

Dgn rasminye…. saya nak istihar..bahawasanye…

saya dah malas nak kisah…..  or even be nice to people…. ep my friends… (unless its those who has been there for me - they know who they are)

in the end kawan kawan jugak yang menyakitkan hati… lagi elok tolong org yang tak kenal langsung!!!

Aku bukan SuperWomen!!!

by Delliya Zain

It is my nature to make friends.

It is my nature to care for my friends.

”U care too much about my friends”… that was what my arwah keep telling me and yet.. being the degil daughter… i keep on caring for my friends. Sometimes i tried to imagine how my world would be if i just dont care about my friends…

so lets imagine…. what if a friends ask a favour (any kind) and i said ”tak boleh lah… tanya org lain lah”

or… what if a friend need a shoulder to cry on .. and i said.. ops sorry thats your problem… you have to deal with it yourself… and keep quiet….

i am just not that person… i have been through hard times and i feel sorry for those who need help. with out people asking for help.. i will care and try to help in anyway i can….

Now.. as predicted by my arwah father… i am the one who get hurts….

There are those few people that really appreciates me…. but some just dont know how to say thank you. I feel that thank you is something that you must say and show. To show that u are thankful maybe is by a hug a simple gesture etc. I dont espect in the form of money or even presents… NOPE…. i help secara ikhlas…. i just need some appreciation….

I tak nafikan juga ada times yang a few great friends helps me bertalu talu… give me a place to stay… pinjamkan duit… tolong i pindah rumah… give advices.. etc… i would like U to know i am thankful to know you and i owe you my life… if i cant repay your kindness… Allah will… its like paying it foward… you tolong i… i tolong orang lain… and orang lain will help you.

i sedih when… i always the one who organised of other people go away party, surprise birthday… but when it was my turn no one seems to remember? But i tried to undersatnd that mugkin semua sibuk kot… its ok…..

some times.. its just me.. me being too caring that people salah anggap… If you are my true friends you…. would you think i do something to disrespect you? or make your life misserble? ignor you? purposely?!!! if it happens… surely because there must be a good reason… dont you think so? so fine.. it happens.. could you atleast come up to me an confront? you cakap you kawan i… tapi kenapa you tak faham i?

bila things like this happens… i nak minta maaf… i bukan super women… i make mistake… if you are my true friend you would forgive and understand…..

and if you still not satisfy…..

then go and get ur yourself a superwomen friend… coz i slips from time to time….

i wish you good luck on getting  your ideal superwomen friend!!!!

Regards

Delliya Zain

Lost and found

The Lost and found
by Delliya Zain
Dec 2004

I know I found ‘it’
When I stop searching.

I am searching for ‘it’
Coz I have lost ‘it’….

It has always been mine
it has always been there
where I first found ‘it’

Did ‘it’ gone missing?
Or was it me who
Forgets and got lost?

I keep on searching and searching
Only to know that
It was never lost
It has always been there..

It is the never ending love of Ash!

Finders keepers!

(sorry mana boleh share)

Confused

by Delliya Zain

Dec 2004 

Feeling like an idiot
Feeling like a fool
Feeling so lonely
In my own web
construct by me

I don’t know why
I did the things I did.
I don’t know why
I did not do the things
I was supposed to do.

Waiting for something
to happen
Waiting for something
to take charge
Waiting for this moment
to go away….. forever.
Waiting for the unknown
Is like waiting in the dark alone.
Wondering could it ever get worst?

I am full of waste
I am full of sins
Nothing I do is good
Nothing I do seems even close to right.

Questions keep playing in my head.
Instead of answers to my questions
I end up with more questions
to my never ending questions.

Who am I?
How did I get myself here?
Would I ever learn from my mistake?

Confused?
Nope.
Just plain stupid.

Why don’t you just hit me
and wake me up
from this dreadful dream.

Oh.. how I wish it is just a dream.

My mission

I want you to know
That my mission in life
is hunt you down.

My mission created by you
is to make you regret
the things you did
that make me cry.

I will never let you
get away with all those lies
I will never forget
what u did to make me
feel small, useless and ugly.

My mission is
to prove you wrong!
My mission is
to make your feel sorry
for the things u did!

From now on
you are my
Favourite enemy.

(kau ingat kau bagus?!!!)
this is dedicated to my friends who got hurt recently…
hang in there!!!

bReaKinG uP - SuCks

breaking up
by delliya zain
october 2004

breaking up hurts the most when
a few days before the BREAK UP
you and the one who ditched you
were having so much fun
you did not see it coming at all.

breaking up hurts the most when
you have made so much sacrifice
to move to another country,
change your job,
loose your friends,
in the name of LOVE
only to know he or she is leaving you for
some stupid reason or worst ‘person’.

breaking up hurts the most when
you love that person so much
you believe in him or her,
you accept himor her as for who he or she is,
you would do anything for him/her,
however he or she would not do the same for you.

breaking up hurts the most when
all those beautiful, passionate and loving words
were only lies to keep you with himor her
for his or her own advantage.

breaking up hurts the most when
you suddenly woke up from the wonderful world
of deceitfulness,
only to discover that you have been fooled and
your hearts crushed into pieces
that makes you feel so stupid,
you loose all your confidence towards life,
and you feel everyone else is lucky but not you.

breaking up hurts the most when
the person you thought were your best friend
the one you trust
the one you rely on
turns out to be your enemy

breaking up hurts the most when
after all the time that has been spent together
after all those hearts to hearts talk
after the huge sum of phone bills
he or she have the nerve to
N O T  b r e a k   u p  with you face to face

other example via
note, phone, on the phone msg, text msg, email, to your secretary, by a friend or worst not saying anything at all

I dedicate this
Emotional Feelings
to my dearest friend in Oxford
she is a wonderful and strong women
i know she will get what she wants in life
all this shit happens for a reason
and the reason would only be for the best.

luv dee