29th September 2001
Wednesday, September 28th, 200529th September 2001
Al fatihah for my loving Papa
by
Delliya Zain
29th September 2001
is a date I will never forget!
Four years ago on this day
I found out that my Papa
had left me and my family for ever.
The memory of my mother
telling me on the mobile phone
just after my exams at UiTM,
in the middle of the FSPU court yard
is still fresh as it had just happened yesterday.
Mama said..”papa dah takada”
(papa is not here anymore)
I was shocked and dropped
my mobile phone right there and then.
I felt like running to him and save him.
But its too late.
My Papa left me without
any warning of sickness.
But the sign’s was there.
Just a week before he died
he gave me a long lecture about
what was expected of me.
What I did not realize was that this
was my last few moments with him.
”Take care of Mama” he said.
And me being me replied,
”Why?”
papa answered ” I am going somewhere really far away”.
I just thought that he had some job offer abroad.
and he continued ”It’s your responsibility.”
” Do not spend lavishly as we are not rich people” papa said.
I knew we were never rich
but we were not poor and homeless.
But at that time,
he was doing very well with his job that
I thought that its about time our life be easier.
I thought wrong!
” Study and archive success to the highest level” papa said.
Papa has a phD in Sociology
and worked as a business consultant.
I am proud of his achievements
and yet he stressed the need for me
to archive the highest achivement.
(Yeah I’ll do my RIBA Part III and my Msc!
I am just waiting for the right time.)
” Kalau sekarang kita rasa rendah diri
dgn kawan kawan kita yang dah archived so much,
bila dah tua nanti kita akan rasa 3 kali ganda
lebih rendah diri kalau kita tak setaraf dgn mereka!”
Papa 2001
” You had the coolest Papa” Edri said.
Edri@Adriana my childhood best friend.
Amongst my friends Edri knew my arwah father most.
Its a pity I only realized that I ”HAD” the coolest father
in the whole wide world after I lost him!
All I have now are regrets.
I miss my Papa.
As much as I am pitying myself,
I feel sorry for my brother Taufiq.
He is now 12 years old.
He had to loose his father
when he was 8 years old.
That is really young…
i could never imagine
my life without a father at that age..
(although come to think of it
when I was a teenager i wanted
to ran away from home! hmm)
I also felt sorry for my brother Indra
who was about to sit for his SPM exams.
Alhamdulillah he passed with flying colors.
He is now on a JPA scholarship in Japan
studying Artificial Intelligent.
I am so proud of both of my brothers!
I knew on that day I lost my Papa
I will be responsibly to take care
of my family.
Things had to change!
I guess that is why I am here in
Manchester.
Earning £pounds for my family.
(not much, but way better than being in KL)
His absence makes me stronger
and even a better person.
Dear Papa,
Forgive me. I miss you so much.
I will do my best to take care of the family.
I am happily married now to Ash.
I have archived so much in 4 years
and will do better each year.
I love you,
Your only daughter Dee.
Al-fatihah
